There has been a lot of stuff going on in our worlds over the past three weeks.
I became more Blue, we have had a whole beehive of visiting in-laws, elderly parents to look after and manage those various medical things that seem to be popping up more and more, a fallout with a friend and an ordering of mending-the-fences.
And a memorable phone call that was beautiful and profound and sorrowful and immensely peaceful.
On top of all that there has been the regular, work, businesses to mange, courses to study for and books to get writing.
It hasn't been easy.
These are weeks that have affected both of us.
What I love about our M/s, D/s is though we have rules and protocols and structure, we are able to pivot away from them on a dime. Because funnily enough, life happens.
It doesn't mean our dynamic changes, is put on the table or on hold, but it means we adapt and we ebb and flow with each other.
Yesterday, was not a good day.
He was having a miserable day.
I was having a miserable day.
And the misery-loves-company forced a colliding of his with mine.
He would have been within his rights to punish. I didn't step over any line or break a rule but I was very nearly there. At least a reprimand or a correction.
But that wouldn't have given either of us any ease or release (not that he explained his decision to me..but you know, you do infer).
It was just an angst kind of day. Not a day to force an issue.
There were no arguments or raised voices. Just sort of a silent hold-out.
Neither of us could, at that moment in time, meet each other part-way.
We needed a different kind of healing. The one that comes from knowing each other so very well.
We went out to see an exhibit, had a take-away in the park, talked late into the night, talking and laughing and forgetting our miserable days. . I went to bed earlier, Horace stayed up working on a project.
I woke up this morning at 2:40am. Had my own blue hour, got an hour of studying in, wrote a blog post, got a couple of new pages away and made Horace an apology breakfast.
Of course, I didn't call it that--but essentially that's what it was.
It was ultra-gratifying to surprise him with breakfast when he woke up all sleepily and not expecting, it was nice to contribute, even exercising a tad bit of control in righting the wrongs.
It was great to steal that time away in the morning to be together (haven't written the post about how much I adore breakfast and all the power of this meal...hmmm...).
I think punishments are effective but I think too much rigidity doesn't make for a happy ebb and flow, at least not for us. And with the way our life is...we need this..His decisions to lead us on the way that the time and situation call for, in this instance, out of the gloomy place and into a better morning.